We Deserve Better Dating Apps
We Deserve Better Dating Apps
A Podcast Preview
Happy Valentine’s Day! 🌹
Today I published a new podcast episode all about dating apps! I interviewed Maki Gingoyon (she/her), the co-founder of My Transgender Date, the first decent dating site for trans women who are looking for a genuine, romantic connection.
Follow Maki: Instagram / TikTok / Twitter
Follow My Transgender Date’s social media: Instagram / TikTok / Twitter / YouTube / Facebook
Below is the introduction to the episode. Listen to the full documentary for the full story. You can also listen to my full, uncut interview with Maki by becoming a Patron of the show.
Thanks for reading!! <3
Dating sucks. That much is a universal truth, whether you’re straight, gay, cis, trans, non-binary, asexual, allosexual, monogamous, poly, or anything in between all of these. Being single? Great! Being in one or more loving relationships? Also great! But dating? The PROCESS of finding that special someone? Hell on earth.
Dating sites were meant to facilitate that process, but different people have had varying degrees of success with these. But I don’t want to get into the myriad of frustrations that I’ve had with dating apps over the years, or else we’ll be here for hours. In this episode of The Anna Marie Criticizes Technology For An Hour Podcast, I want to hone in on the negative aspects of dating apps that are specific to trans people.
For example: Did you know that you can get kicked off a dating app just for being trans? It’s true, and plenty of trans people have been reporting on this problem for years, with little action from the designers of the apps themselves. Tinder, the dating and hookup app with by far the biggest market share, is infamous in the trans community for banning or shadow-banning us.
There are also very few apps that even know what to do with non-binary people. In the current year, 2023, lots of apps let you choose from a myriad of different pronoun labels and gender identifiers, but then on the back end (when it comes to their sorting algorithms), they assign you as Male or Female, which then dictates who gets shown your profile. If you’re trans or non-binary and you don’t get any matches no matter how much you swipe, that could be why.
With all the transphobia going on in the media and in politics right now, it’s a REALLY tough time to be trans in my country. Which is why at the end of the day, most of us just want to come home to a safe & loving partner. Unfortunately, we can’t even have that, because most online spaces (just like most real-life spaces) weren’t designed with us in mind.
When apps are made by and for cis people, trans people are subject to transphobic hate from users, algorithmic bias, content moderation bias, and more.
Which is why we need apps that are made by and for trans people, so we can feel safe and supported in our journey to find love.
But this presents another problem: who’s gonna build these apps? How do you make a dating site that is safe and affirming for trans people? How do you handle content moderation, or abusive messages at the hands of your user base? And, with a community as diverse as ours, how do you make a dating site that accounts for the shifting language of modern trans existence?
Luckily, I know just the person who can give us some insight into these questions. Maki Gingoyon is the co-founder of MyTransgenderDate.com, the first decent dating site for trans women who are looking for a genuine, romantic connection with trans-attracted men. For this episode, I asked her a TON of questions, about everything from dating advice to what it’s like designing an app aimed at transgender users.
Even if you’re not trans, I hope this episode is enlightening about what kinds of things trans women go through, how cis people and trans people can work together to create trans-friendly spaces and resources, and the basics of design justice philosophy.
Welcome, dear viewer, to Rule 63, the transfeminist podcast where we outline the barriers to ending systemic oppression and where we imagine better futures for ourselves.
My name is Anna Marie, PhD, and welcome to Rule 63!
A “proper” newsletter will be available next week (I’ve been very busy with my new course!!) In the meantime, happy listening and happy Valentine’s Day!! 🌹
In community,
-Anna